Two older women, overheard on a bus, Cancun.
“Oh, how are you?! I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.”
Over cheap beer at Yamhill Pub, PDX.
“It’s just a hornet’s nest of sexual harassment if I do that.” ~Joe
Trivial Pursuit at The Basement Pub, PDX.
Q – What dropped 1,313 feet in 1980?
~“My balls.”
Q – What color were George Washington’s false teeth?
~“Compressed wool.”
~“Wood.”
Cesar Chavez; San Francisco
~”Colonel Sanders’ granddaughter was my mom’s sex ed teacher.” ~Sarah (on Southern connections)
St. Maries, ID
~”You never watched Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman?! Sully was the mountain man guy who’d always wear deer skin hides of something … Of a deer I guess.” ~Garrett
On a southbound ferry through Alaska’s Inside Passage
~”’80s hats or 80 hats? Were you talking about genre or quantity?” ~Jessie to Annie
?
~”He threw a sausage at my face at like 10 o’clock in the morning.”
Starboard Port 
Amanda – Short, mouthy Asian.
Dude – Tall, random intoxicated Indian man.
Dude: scene-stopping me on my way into a bar.(To be said with a monotone ‘Native’ accent) “Hey, are you Native, you look a like you could be Native?”
Amanda: “Uhm, actually I am half Japanese.”
Dude: “Hey, that’s still Native!”
Amanda: “Uhm…if I was in Japan.”
Scene closes, Dude walks slowly away, confused.
*Not sure that is a quote..but a mildly entertaining short non-the-less.
That is certainly one of my favorites!